“What fragrance will make me attractive to her?” It is a question young men return to again and again.
They look from afar, seeking an edge to stand out from the crowd of other males. In their mind, fragrances feel like the most important tool they have. Meanwhile, the goal—love, admiration, intimacy—stays firmly out of reach.
For while men who may fall head over heels at first glance are legion, women tend to be more selective, and harder to impress. Men hope they can turn the tables and make women instantly fall for them in the same way. It is easier to spend money on a bottle than to confront one’s own shortcomings.
In reality, it’s almost never going to happen. There is a yawning chasm between smelling attractive and actually being attractive.
Attraction built on scent fades quickly; attraction built on substance does not. A good fragrance may start a conversation, but it cannot carry one.
Attraction is not something applied, it is something built. Beauties generally do not fall in love with beasts. If a man smells good but his character is poor, no fragrance can cover that for long.
Gentlemen, let that sink in. The way she thinks about you is not the way you think about her. Men and women are not identical in how they perceive attraction, and ignoring that reality does young men no favours.
People carry what they have seen and experienced with them, and those impressions do not fade easily. That extends to fragrances as well.
Yes, an attractive fragrance may help when there is no other reason for a woman to dislike a man, there are many of those. But if he is not seen as a good man—whatever that means to her—he will not be chosen. In some cases, it can even work against him.
Consider the man who smells impeccable but carries himself poorly: arrogant, careless or unsure. The contrast does not impress anyone; it confuses and can even repel. Something about such a man feels off, a feeling that is hard to ignore.
If a fragrance reminds a woman of a previous partner who disrespected her or was otherwise crass, it becomes even harder to stand apart. She is reminded of a bad experience, not the man in front of her. For that reason, the focus should be on becoming an attractive man first.
Instead of spending heavily on fragrances while neglecting the rest of life, young men would do well to invest in themselves. This is the time to train the body, improve one’s character, read widely and explore new places, to ask oneself, “Am I the kind of person I should be?” This is the time to decide what kind of man to become and to do the work most others avoid.
The habits formed in youth tend to last. If young, do not waste this window. It closes faster than expected.
For those who are further along, it is common to look back and wish those years had been used more wisely. For those of us in our forties and beyond change is still possible, but it comes slower and with more effort.
A fragrance can enhance a man, it cannot build one. A man is remembered for who he is long after, not how he smelled.
𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘧𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘧 𝘪𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘱𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘯? 𝘏𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘯 𝘢 𝘧𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘥𝘯’𝘵 𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘺𝘦𝘵? 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘧 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘴 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘸, 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘩 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘯𝘨? 𝘚𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧𝘧 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴!
