Not everyone knows it, but I do have quite a lot of professional experience in social media marketing with some Fortune 100 companies, including as a mod/admin with some enormous Facebook pages. I’ve been asked several times in recent months to become an admin for Facebook fragrance groups, which I’ve considered carefully but I’ve declined all of them.
I genuinely enjoy marketing strategy and writing much more than moderating, plus moderating would steal time I need for other things I can’t afford to give up.
Admin work isn’t easy, and it deserves respect. Mods can facilitate thought about fragrances that would not happen without their dedication and determination.
Many people reading this are members of at least one Facebook fragrance group; some of us belong to dozens. These spaces can be vibrant, informative and genuinely enjoyable. They can also be rigid, inconsistent and quietly alienating, depending on how they’re managed.
While admins regularly outline what they expect from members, it’s far less common to see a thoughtful conversation about what members should reasonably want from admins. This list is my attempt to correct that imbalance.
What follows are 10 admin behaviours I’ve observed that, over time, turn enthusiasm into fatigue. The list is not meant for any particular group, rather it’s just meant to generate discussion and, ideally, improvement.
Let’s go.
1️⃣ 𝐄𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐝
I’m a member of 30+ groups. If I forget a rule once in a while, it’s not because I’m being nefarious or careless, it’s because each group has its own set of rules, and they’re all different. Remembering all the policies when each group has it’s own unique needs can be tough
2️⃣ 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐮𝐭, 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬
This one may be controversial. Some believe spelling out names invites retaliation from companies policing criticism and pressuring platforms to shut groups down. The reality is simpler: these companies already monitor these spaces using cutting edge technology. They easily recognize altered spellings. They’re not fooled, and pretending otherwise doesn’t meaningfully protect anyone.
3️⃣ 𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐮𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐡𝐲
Discipline isn’t the issue, silence is. Some admins act swiftly but offer no explanation, no context and no opportunity for understanding. Even when moderation is justified, refusing to explain it breeds resentment and distrust.
4️⃣ 𝐎𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩-𝐰𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠
The @everyone tag has a purpose. Used sparingly, it works. Used routinely, it becomes noise. Constant alerts about matters that don’t affect most members quickly turn from informative to intrusive.
5️⃣ 𝐋𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐲 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐝𝐦𝐢𝐧 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐬
Locking threads due to hostility, insults or genuine disruption makes sense. Locking them because opinions challenge an admin’s personal view does not. Shutting down discussion over disagreement undermines the very reason many people join these groups.
6️⃣ 𝐀𝐝𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐬 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞
Few things make a group feel unstable faster than inconsistent enforcement. Watching a thread be locked, reopened and then locked again because admins can’t align on the rules reflects poorly on the entire moderation team.
7️⃣ 𝐑𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐬 ‘𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧,’ 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞
Asking for member input creates an expectation of good-faith consideration. Soliciting opinions only to dismiss them afterward, while reframing disagreement as negativity, erodes trust and discourages future engagement.
8️⃣ 𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩 𝐚 ‘𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲’ 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞
In a real community, people can express differing views as long as they aren’t attacking others. Some groups, however, function more like controlled channels where only admins and their inner circle can speak freely, while others must tip-toe around. That’s less of a community and more of a hierarchy.
9️⃣ 𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩 𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐲
Many groups are moderated by admins who are rarely visible or engaged. Transparency matters. Knowing who is making decisions, and occasionally hearing from them, goes a long way toward building trust and legitimacy.
1️⃣0️⃣ 𝐁𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭
Treating external links as threats rather than contributions is a strange posture. Some admins behave as though their group must be the beginning and end of all communication regarding fragrances, as if sharing outside material will cause an exodus. (It rarely does.)
Members are human beings. We are people who benefit from clarity, consistency and basic consideration, not reflexive punishment or arbitrary authority.
What do you think? Am I missing anything that admins do that frustrates you? What would you do differently and better if you were in their position?
Let me know in the comments below!
